Inspiring Video

A friend shared this video with me today and I was encouraged and blessed by what I saw. Please take the time to watch it. If you’re not lifted up by the words or the beautiful photography, then you might want to re-watch it after reading my blog on judgment

This is truly a non-denominational video... Insert your preferred belief.

Either way, don’t miss out on being blessed by what you see in the very short video below.

Have a Wonderful Day! Glenn

Job Loss or Risk Of Job Loss

How To Respond to a Job Loss

I was recently (last week) trying to identify the number of job losses in the Washington DC metro area. I knew the numbers would be alarming and it was my hope to let people know they are not alone and discuss how to respond to a "miserable event" like a jobloss or if you are facing a potential job loss. It was interesting and frustrating that the reports have all turned to unemployment rates, initial jobless claims and over the last three months the references to the exact number of people unemployed locally have disappeared from media reports! My best guesstimate is that number is somewhere around 500,000!

I was able to find the national unemployment claims number and that number was a staggering 5,300,000 the largest number since 1967! And this of course does not cover people who are no longer eligible, never were eligible, on welfare, not collecting unemployment or underemployed.

These numbers seem really grim if one looks at it from that perspective. And so if you are faced with that challenge here today what i want to do is to help you shift your perspective. You have read this before, I know you have but do you really believe it? It is the principle that every single thing that happens in your life happens for a reason and the challenge is here to allow you to become more, be more to grow more. It is in our times of crisis that we have to be willing to ask the hard questions of our selves - not just respond with "knee-jerk" reactions. It takes a master - a person who rises above the typical action-reaction... stimulus-response.. fight-flight. One who rises above the situation and says OK this is a difficult time ... for me but I can look at this differently!

Every single breakthrough is almost always preceded by a breakdown. If you are in that position... maybe laid-off or lost your career or are struggling right now - I want you to ask yourself a couple of key questions. I know they work because they have served me tremendously in both great times and difficult times:

1. How does this job crisis serve me. I know ... the knee-jerk reaction is Glenn this doesn't "serve me" - this is terrible! Believe me I know that - seems almost impossible to fathom how it could serve you. It is the chance to take a deep breath and say - "OK - If I wanted it to serve me - how could it serve me" The answers are there if you ask yourself the question and look. Maybe you got laid-off from a job that had really outworn it's welcome. Maybe you did not love it and weren't passionate about it anyway. Maybe you can decide exactly what it is you love and go after that Maybe now you can open your perception finally to explore other avenues with unlimited potential. Maybe you have opportunity to become more disciplined, more focused. Maybe this now presents you the chance to start your own business and never again be faced with this situation. There are so many ways this can serve you if you focus on making it serve you...it being a gift... looking for the silver lining.


2. What can I learn from this? There are two kinds of people in this world - Winners and yes it begins with an L - Learners. Haven't you actually learned some of your greatest life lessons through your difficult times. Look back upon those difficult times earlier in your life - loss of a job, business closing, maybe a divorce. Look back on those times and maybe its a stretch but I guarantee you that in retrospect - you can say to yourself - "I learned so much, I grew so much, I became so much more - because of that difficult situation". Most people are good at being grateful and appreciative in retrospect - but the master is able to do that in the moment. Maybe I am learning to be more disciplined, maybe I am learning to be more focused, maybe I am learning to be more attentive to what's important, maybe I am learning to be more judicious in my decision-making..." There is a whole list - you can find them.
   
3. How can I use what I learned in this situation to move forward and create a better life in the future for myself and my family. How will use what I learned, how will I use this gift of what I have learned to become a better person in different aspects of my life!
   

I promise you if you focus diligently on the good, the learning and how to apply those learnings in times of difficult events in very short order you will begin to change, you will be more grateful than resentful, more appreciative for all things - big or small - rather than critical. Your thoughts-feelings-actions will begin to shift and very quickly you will begin to attract new results, new people, new opportunities and your life will change!

You have two choices in times of crisis - It is either the time to focus on this times as "the most miserable" in your life or it's the times that is "the most magical". It is your choice - Choose the magic - it's there to serve you if you accept it and apply it.

On Work and Vocation

No that was not a typo - I am discussing vocation... not my next vacation spot!

Choose your work carefully. No matter how much you might believe that your work is nothing more than what you do to make money, your work makes you who you are - most simply because it is where you put your time.

We are what we do - don't let anybody with spiritual mumbo-jumbo say otherwise. The more we put into our job, time, energy, focus the more we become it. By giving your job your time, energy and focus -you are giving it your consciousness. Eventually it will fill your life with the reality that it presents.

So look beyond the superficial attractions of a particular job, profession or business. Consider what it will require you to do on a day-to-day, hour-to-hour, minute-to-minute basis. Is that how you want to spend your life. If it is not your job will become your prison rather than the vehicle of your dreams. And a person without dreams is only half alive.

Think of work as vocation, which comes from the Latin word for calling, which comes from the word for voice. In those meanings it touches on what work really should be - something that calls to you, that gives voice to who you are and what you want to say in the world.

If you find a vocation, embrace it. And it is never too late to look or change. You will find a way to contribute to the world with love. Finding a vocation is not always easy. You can't really know what it is you want to do by thinking about it. You have to do it and see how it fits. You have to let the work take you over until it becomes you and you become it. Then you must decide whether to embrace it or abandon it because it is not the right fit.

There is no reason - including your age why a person can't abandon a job that does not fit and strike out into the unknown for something that lies closer to the heart. There is no reason why a person cannot have many careers in the course of their life. No amount of security is worth the suffering of a life lived chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.

Find what it is that burns in your heart and do it! Choose a vocation - not a job - and your life will have meaning and feel like a vacation everyday.

Success Over Time

Having single minded ambition and focus is a great way to achieve goals - but is that really success? If we allow it - pursuing success can be like shooting at a series of moving targets. Every time you hit one (goal), seems like 5 more pop up from another direction. Just as we reach and achieve one goal, we feel that that pressure, drive, ambition - to work harder, make more money, buy something new. Standards and benchmarks of "making it" constantly shift in our ever changing world. New technology and new social change constantly present us with new obstacles and opportunities.


At times our path to success might lead us to feel like we are constantly turning the corner and another flight of stairs appears...

The path might even feel like it is leading us to nowhere... burn out, divorce, loss of family and friends. Some of us may choose along the path to single out one goal, putting all our energy into achieving that one goal, whether it is a single minded focus on your job or being the best stay-at-home parent. But no matter how noble - a single goal cannot satisfy all of a person's complex needs and desires.

I am talking about real enduring success over time - where getting what you want has rewards and satisfaction that is sustainable for you and those you care about! This type of success endures way beyond a raise, a bonus, a vacation or a new car or home. It involves an attainment of legitimacy and importance. Lasting success brings with it renewing emotions not anxieties.

It is important for each person to understand and develop his or her unique definition of success over time. I would propose that your definition contain the following four components:

• Happiness - feelings of pleasure or contentment about your life


• Achievement - accomplishments that compare favorably against similar goals others strive for


• Significance - the sense that you made a positive impact on people you care about


• Legacy - a way to establish your accomplishments so as to help others find future success

Unless you hit on all four categories with regularity, any one win will fail to satisfy. You win but have that uneasy feeling. You know what you did was right, but it still feels like a loss. You get preoccupied with all the other things you could be doing. Your achievement and pleasure fades almost as soon as it occurs. Even despite your "celebration" you are on to the next flight of stairs.

Lasting satisfaction draws energy from accomplishing something in each of the four categories over time. You must consciously pursue victories in all four categories while staying in touch with your values and special talents.

There is a complex concept behind this that I have begun to grasp and is my reason for sharing this. There is a true paradigm one of accepting limitations. It flies in the face of the popular opinion that success is all about breaking through limitations, that it is about having more, being more, doing more. Enduring success over time is about deliberately imposing limitations - about developing a skill of the pursuit of "just enough". It is developing re-focusing skills, focusing on one task, one goal until it gives you a particular sense of satisfaction - "just enough", then put it down and jump to the next category with a sense of accomplishment and renewed energy.

This will stop you from atrtributing your success to one event/goal/role or realm of life (see above). Your accomplishments can have measures of acheivement at wildly varying magnitudes. Some goals in one category may involve attainment at a small scale - just enough -while others are at a scale that demanded sustained effort over time. Objectives in the categories are not amount of activity or number of rewards in any one category, but securing a proportionate mix of all four and understanding the dynamics of the four categories.

For more information on this balanced appraoch to success over time as well as a personalized method to develop your own success plan visit Think TQ

Adversity and Misfortune - Catalysts for Change

In these tough economic times it is important to remember that throughout life you will come face to face with adversity and misfortune. You cannot completely protect yourself and your loved ones from things like suffering. They come in their own time, many times when you feel the least prepared to cope with misfortune.

When we are in our "zone" and all appears to be going well for us in life - life can at times appear to be "controlled" "... in a rhythm" and we feel like we are moving from one ritual or familiar experience to the next. Then adversity comes swooping in and almost like a tragedy shatters or routines and those things we "take for granted". We might at times feel like we are now living in side an echo chamber - reflecting back our screams of anguish. Things that seemed so important now seem to have disappeared from our "importance meter". Things we looked at as concerns before now become irrelevant and even petty.

It is not what happens to us that - it is how we respond to what happens to us that determines the quality of our lives.

When we finally come out of the fog of misfortune and shed off the cloak of adversity as we ultimately will, we will have experienced a transformation!

These are important things for us to remember as we begin to enter the early stages of the America's Second Great Depression. Although anybody reading this did not personally live through the the first US Depression that began in 1929, we must be prepared and resilient, this coming depression could last 2 years, 4 years, 8 years even longer. How we prepare and how we respond will determine the quality of our life and our ability to take advantage of the enormous opportunities certain to come our way in the recovery. More wealth was created and acquired at the end of the last depression than at any time in our history, including during the internet and housing growth markets.

How you respond to the adversity, misfortune and tragedy of America's Second Great Depression will in large part be determined by your responses to those events earlier in your life and your ability to learn and implement change. Your response to suffering is one true measure of your personal strength. I for one have embraced my tragedies as a source of learning and growth. Our daily behaviors involve "looking for and being grateful for the silver linings". A personal tragedy in my life had me take a route to liquidate a large portion of a stock portfolio in 2007. We acknowledge daily the gift we received there as we liquidated literally at the top of the market and have recently begun to replace the holdings for roughly 30% of our liquidation prices. The tragedy was horrible, the silver lining was there to be grateful for.

As human beings one of our innate abilities is we are a surprisingly resilient organism. We have a built-in drive towards health and growth not towards sickness. the question is not one if you will heal and grow, but rather how and when. Isn't it nice those are choices you have control over. Grief, pain, suffering have their own duration, they will pass and you have the wonderful power to shape the new being you will become.

We must not fear adversity and misfortune, but recognize they make you part of the human family. They allow you to immerse your spirit in the human experience.

Judgments - Live Life Large

You know judgments are as much a part of your life as eating and breathing. People have judgments about everything, they think their judgments matter. Their judgments might be about themselves, about their self perception, others and their perception of others and the world around them.

What a silly concept, how can you judge situations that are in a constant state of change? People have blatant judgments and obscure judgments... small and petty judgments and large and paralyzing judgments. Stop and observe it's almost as if your mind waits for you to think ... anything - just so it can judge it.

A Judgment is different than making a decision or expressing a preference. In life you do make many decisions. You could also be afraid to make decisions. You usually find this fear has it's basis in your judgments. Your have beliefs and feelings about your past decisions whether they are right or wrong! You may look at your past history and judge you never make good decisions. The decisions aren't the problem - your judgments are what cause the anxiety and fear.

That all being said it is difficult to live a life without any judgments. It won't work to tell yourself not to judge anything again. As an alternative - observe what your judgment is when you are feeling bad and then see if you can let it go. If you are able to do that in the moment of your experience - you will have accomplished a major step on the way to reducing the judgments in your life that will allow you to live more in the moment and be more aware. People are not aware of the immediate or long term impacts of judgments. The more judgments you have the more restricted your experience of life will be.

It may seem like giving up your judgments is abit like giving up your identity. And actually you are! You are choosing to live a life larger than your judgments and greater than your current personality. To truly expand your life you must come from a space that is different than your present way of judging things. It is a risky path given no road map exists to find your way.. but it will assist you in moving toward the life you know you are meant to live.

When you appreciate what is, you are preparing yourself for the miracles that are just around the corner. When you judge what is you are blind to the joys of the moment.

The fewer your judgments the larger your life

Glenn Stephens at 50

Although we are a few months into 2009 I thought I would share some of my thoughts with other 50 somethings out there in this economy. I look at my life as Glenn Stephens here I am a 50 something and ask questions - some of which I do not yet have the answers to this will be a recurring topic of this blog. Asking myself questions and sharing my thoughts and sometimes answers. Today we will start with one question...

Where do I stand in life?

Living in the moment - Most of my attention is usually focused on my family, my friends, me Glenn Stephens, in this moment. From this moment you look back to learn and you look forward to anticiapte change you implement - but you can only LIVE IN THE MOMENT. I look back at Glenn Stephens life. Who am I - what brought me here to this moment? What must I change? What does Glenn Stephens stand for? Let's apply a principle just for fun and see?

You are your network. You are most like your closest five friends. You are what you focus on. Relevant at 50? For many Yes... what about for those with life changing disruptions... relevant - may be not.

Well what happens if... after a 30 year corporate career ( for 50 somethings remember) - focused on the companies you worked for trying to be the model, hard-working, loyal employee - you get outsourced, laid off, replaced or just plain fired? What if - given you spent the majority of that career and your life (10-12 hours a day 5-6 days a week, throw in a couple hours a day commuting) you spend 80-90% of your waking life with work associates, clients, customers and "work friends"

How many of you have seen people depart a company - reason not relevant, having a going away party, lots of "let's keep in touch..." How many of those ....lasted? One month later, one year later, 5 years later?

What if those you thought were close to you - those you called friends - abandon you as if you had the plague. It happens to some ... You know I once heard the definition of a friend as a friend is someone whom if you got in trouble and killed someone they would talk with you, hear you out and assist you but convince you to turn yourself in versus a true friend you could call at 3AM at night and they would come over and help you bury the body! I think thats MORE than a little extreme!

I continue to believe the true friend would be one who would not have abandoned you in horror. They would be shocked, stunned, uncertain how to act, maybe a little scared even, but then wouldn't they actually be experiencing some of your emotions? Wouldn't this allow them to truly empathize with you? What if they would maintain contact and offer assistance.

I tend to liken that to another description/definition of a friend I read "Those who have walked with each other through some of life's darkest valleys and emerged on the other side forever bonded. They share with each other on a level no one else is able to share..." I offer up a short description too for consideration - A true friend might be that rare soul who sees right through you but will still see you through.

For those of you who have been abandoned - reason irrelevant - apply the 5 stages of loss/grief. Denial>Anger>Bargaining>Depression>Acceptance.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross' book is the best work on the subject! On Death & Dying

Wow seems pretty dark and forboding... but let's have some hope here. If you are fortunate and have friends like my definition - be thankful, show gratitude and nurture that friendship. For those who have lost those they called friends... grieve and move on.

One thing is for sure, the pace of change is incredible. What was secure in this day- many times - is no longer... not just no longer secure... it may no longer exist. This is the world we now live in. We must learn to manage and live our way in this change! Evidence the vanishing and transferring of trillions of dollars over the last 4-5 months. Institutions we considered rock solid... gone or in their death march... people who are institutions themselves (Warren Buffet)... experiencing enormous change!

What do we do about it? We leverage change, we leverage our tools. We extend our depth, we broaden our reach. We create new friends and new definitions, we use new models to extend our reach, Facebook, Twitter, Blogger. We investigate new income opportunities to replace the security we had in a job. We look at alternative investments and where possible we simplify.