Where do I stand in life?
Living in the moment - Most of my attention is usually focused on my family, my friends, me Glenn Stephens, in this moment. From this moment you look back to learn and you look forward to anticiapte change you implement - but you can only LIVE IN THE MOMENT. I look back at Glenn Stephens life. Who am I - what brought me here to this moment? What must I change? What does Glenn Stephens stand for? Let's apply a principle just for fun and see?
You are your network. You are most like your closest five friends. You are what you focus on. Relevant at 50? For many Yes... what about for those with life changing disruptions... relevant - may be not.
Well what happens if... after a 30 year corporate career ( for 50 somethings remember) - focused on the companies you worked for trying to be the model, hard-working, loyal employee - you get outsourced, laid off, replaced or just plain fired? What if - given you spent the majority of that career and your life (10-12 hours a day 5-6 days a week, throw in a couple hours a day commuting) you spend 80-90% of your waking life with work associates, clients, customers and "work friends"
How many of you have seen people depart a company - reason not relevant, having a going away party, lots of "let's keep in touch..." How many of those ....lasted? One month later, one year later, 5 years later?
What if those you thought were close to you - those you called friends - abandon you as if you had the plague. It happens to some ... You know I once heard the definition of a friend as a friend is someone whom if you got in trouble and killed someone they would talk with you, hear you out and assist you but convince you to turn yourself in versus a true friend you could call at 3AM at night and they would come over and help you bury the body! I think thats MORE than a little extreme!
I continue to believe the true friend would be one who would not have abandoned you in horror. They would be shocked, stunned, uncertain how to act, maybe a little scared even, but then wouldn't they actually be experiencing some of your emotions? Wouldn't this allow them to truly empathize with you? What if they would maintain contact and offer assistance.
I tend to liken that to another description/definition of a friend I read "Those who have walked with each other through some of life's darkest valleys and emerged on the other side forever bonded. They share with each other on a level no one else is able to share..." I offer up a short description too for consideration - A true friend might be that rare soul who sees right through you but will still see you through.
For those of you who have been abandoned - reason irrelevant - apply the 5 stages of loss/grief. Denial>Anger>Bargaining>Depression>Acceptance.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross' book is the best work on the subject! On Death & Dying
Wow seems pretty dark and forboding... but let's have some hope here. If you are fortunate and have friends like my definition - be thankful, show gratitude and nurture that friendship. For those who have lost those they called friends... grieve and move on.
One thing is for sure, the pace of change is incredible. What was secure in this day- many times - is no longer... not just no longer secure... it may no longer exist. This is the world we now live in. We must learn to manage and live our way in this change! Evidence the vanishing and transferring of trillions of dollars over the last 4-5 months. Institutions we considered rock solid... gone or in their death march... people who are institutions themselves (Warren Buffet)... experiencing enormous change!
What do we do about it? We leverage change, we leverage our tools. We extend our depth, we broaden our reach. We create new friends and new definitions, we use new models to extend our reach, Facebook, Twitter, Blogger. We investigate new income opportunities to replace the security we had in a job. We look at alternative investments and where possible we simplify.
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